The waiting game.

The tests.
Blood sucking lab work.
Week after week..

And I wait.

My hair is falling out.
I am so tired.
My fingernails are peeling off.

More blood sucking lab work.
Week after week…

And I wait.

“You’re results are within normal limits, Ms. Lamb”
“My hair is falling out, I am so tired, my fingernails are peeling off”
“Yes, and your results are within normal limits, Ms. Lamb”

And I wait

More blood sucking lab work.

And I wait

“We’ll try some vitamin supplements. You’ll feel better in no time”
One month, two months, now three gone by.

My hair is falling out, I am so tired, my fingernails are peeling off.

The game.
The ever long-lasting waiting game.
When does it stop?

The day my heart not so quietly felt it was vomiting its way out my throat.
The day my upper lip beaded with sweat regardless it was ten degrees below zero.
The day my blood pressure was so high I could not hear a human voice; only a high ringing in my ears.

Will you listen to me, now?
I do not want to die.

“Yes, and your results are all within normal limits, Ms. Lamb”

FUCK YOU

My hair is falling out, I am so tired, my fingernails are peeling off.
And now?
My heart….
MY HEART…which has waited so patiently for you to help me is giving up.

This waiting game?
I will not afford you.
My hair is falling out, I am so tired, my fingernails are peeling off.

This game? Your game?
You cannot give me your time?

My blood sucking lab work will be on your hands.

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