I am “borrowing” the phrase “One moment, please.” from a friend. He won’t mind.
He uses this phrase quite often with me. When I can’t figure something out with my riding, or my horse, or even with my Smart phone. I hear those words and I pause, collect myself, reorganize and when things are right again in my world, I move forward.
Today, I am saying to myself “One moment, please.”
I need to pause, collect myself, reorganize, and when and only when things are right again in my world, I will move forward.
This revelation saddens me on a certain level but at least I’m not dead.
Each and every morning I wake up my mind is already making my “to do” list for the day.
I slurp down my coffee and I scramble eggs for breakfast, while I am yelling upstairs for my daughter to “Hurry up.”
I run the dogs outside in my robe, muck boots, barn hat, and coat. Believe me, I am a sight.
Back inside…another gulp of coffee, another yell upstairs….humm, funny, my stomach is feeling sort of like it is burning. Oh well…no time for that. Gotta go!
Kids car pooled to school. Ha,I forgot to put my boots on. No wonder my feet were so cold. Slippers just don’t keep your tootsie’s warm.
Another cup of coffee dumped in my cup as I run upstairs to put real clothes on. No time for a shower. I have two appointments, need to pick up groceries, pick up kids and call my families that I advocate for in court.
Damn…I forgot to take anything out for dinner. Hum, funny, my stomach really hurts now. No time for that. Gotta go!
Evening chores done, dogs fed, pasta water almost boiling. I don’t feel really hungry. I just want to go to bed. No time for that. Need to check in with the family who is in crisis and help them. Gotta go!
“One moment, please.”
While I plugged holes through out my day and thought I was helping put fires out in other’s lives, I was draining myself dry and slowly but surely burning up.
Months passed and while I was at the ready to hand out advice on how stress can kill, and how “you” need joy in your life, and “you” need to take time for “yourself”, I was not taking “One moment, please”
Doctors appointments, and supplements, and orders to rest. Me? No time for that! Gotta go!
In my car, the day my heart tried to climb out my throat.
The day it was so cold and yet sweat was beading up on my upper lip.
The day I had to roll the window down to gulp for air.
So…humm…yeah, I got the message.
There is a balance between chaos and peace.
I did not find it.
I intend to, now
In the meantime.
I will be taking
“One moment, please”