Who am I?

I sit this evening, dogs by my side, asking myself this question. Who am I?  I am a wife, a mother, the tender of animals, a Guardian ad Litem, and tonight I ask myself “who are you, Sharon?”  My life is full. It is rich with activities. And, yet, there is a heaviness that weighs upon my soul. Is it the mundane of every day living that is driving me mad? Is it the constant needs of every one pulling on me? I become frenetic with unknown energy. I need to clean the dogs ears. I need to clean the ashes from the wood stove. And then I need to pour water on them so they don’t set fire to our barn that is a historic sight. I need to do laundry EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY. I need to make my bed. I need to make sure my daughters medication is in order…..of course….who else will? The drive. The undulating push that wakes me every morning at 3:30 regardless of what ever medication I have taken. Should I get up?” Why not run on your tread mill? ”  “You can make your “to do list” while you are running.” I am tired. My body is tired. My mind is tired. I want to be off this race. I want to know who I am.

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